My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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