Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize