Swine flu. Run for my life!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
