Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
