You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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