So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
