she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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