non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
