he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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