forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
