The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
