gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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