Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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