i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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