There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize