We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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