Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
