Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
why do cheetos always look like penises
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
