I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
