Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
