i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize