Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
