my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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