I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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