This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
