im gay
i know
yea but for you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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