Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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