Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
