I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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