I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
