i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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