All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize