in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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