Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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