the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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