guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
