the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
