True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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