I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
