This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize