i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
