Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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