worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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