i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
