So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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