it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
