this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
