I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
