If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
