I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize