I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
