thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
