Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
