My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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