Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
