i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
