I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
